she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize