Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize