Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
