She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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