i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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