can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I enjoy the company of your penis
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
