Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just made my gag reflex go away.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Even my vagina gasped.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
