i just google imaged poop.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
