I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
