Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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