I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You smell like a Billy Joel song
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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