i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
