its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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