I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
