Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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