if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
