3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Drunk is a universal language darling
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
