mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
