im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
