Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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