y did u give ur computer a hand job?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
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