am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
