The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
