I need help removing her.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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