I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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