Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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