Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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