I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
