I got chris browned last night
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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