he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
