There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
