quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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