I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
