google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
