do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
