Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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