Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
