I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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