um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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