I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize