You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize