Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
meet me or not, i'm out of control
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
