I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
