Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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