No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
