Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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