I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
