It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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