I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
