i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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