Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
