It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I need a burrito and a hug.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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