I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
