Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
