sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
